Musings of an Outlaw
by gillyandersons
Summary: Regina Mills was a book, one that was battered and bruised, but one that you loved and cherished so dearly you always went back to it. One you wanted to know from cover to cover, exploring and savouring every precious word. Each chapter was like a beautiful work of art; one that you could not help but admire.


_**To be honest, i'm not really sure about this fic and i'll most probably take it down.**__**But whatever, I hope you like it anyway. Please let me know what you think, because i'm really not sure about it. **__**  
**_

You look at her and you instantly know that you've fallen. You've fallen and you've fallen hard. But you've fallen in the best possible way, knowing you've fallen for Regina Mills.

Love at first sight was something you had never believed in. To a point, you still don't. If you remember correctly, you didn't like the woman one bit the first time you met her.

Which, ironically, was the thing that made you fall so hard and so God damned fast for her.

They say that there is a thin line between love and hate. _Thin_ line indeed. Especially in your case. What you had originally thought were mutual feeling of disdain and dislike toward the other, we actually that of desire and love.

It didn't take you long to work it out, either. Well, it did but it seemed your body and your subconscious were partners in crime; plotting against your consciousness for weeks.

The damned woman drove you wild. But, _damn_, was she hot. She was like something out of this world. And every time she opened those dark, plump lips and said something rude or sassy, you wanted nothing more than to slam her against a tree and fuck her senesless.

At least that way she would shut up.

Without either of you realising, you were under one another's skin. You were opening up to one another. Vulnerable. Emotionally stripped and naked. Laying your inner most thoughts and feelings out bare.

She let you in; something you knew she just _did not do_. Not to anybody.

She told you of her pain. Of her worries.

You gladly accepted them. You gladly let her pain and her troubles become your own. You were the one person in the world she could trust. She was honest with you. She was herself.

She wasn't evil. Not _really_. That hard, sassy bitch was just a shield. She was just as scared and vulnerable as the rest of the world. Probably even more so.

And with good reason.

The more you learnt about her, the harder you fell. You didn't pity her, you admired her. Sure, you felt terrible that she had gone through so much pain and heartbreak in her life, but you didn't pity her or see her as some broken, empty shell of a woman. Because Regina Mills was _far_ from that.

You admired her strength. You admired her modesty about said strength even more. She had no idea just how strong she was. She certainly did not give herself enough credit.

You wished, more than anything, that she could see herself through your eyes. That she would see this phenomenal, perfectly imperfect, warrior of a woman that you see.

You vowed there and then that you would make her see herself through your eyes. Even if it took you your whole life. Even if it was the last thing you did on this earth.

She deserved to see herself like this. To see the good: the strength: the beauty.

Maybe then she would forgive herself for her wrong doings. Everybody had a past, and everybody had made mistakes. Granted, none of their pasts or mistakes were as dark or as grave as Regina's, but even she deserved a second chance.

Especially when she was more than willing to change. Hell, she already had changed. There wasn't a trace of the woman everybody seemed to hate and fear.

It was hard for you to understand her. She was an incredibly complex and deep woman, but she was the most beautiful puzzle. Her complexity and all her layers and walls made you love her even more.

It made you strive even harder to knock down her walls and peel back her layers until you got to the real her. And you did so; she _let_ you do so.

The deeper you got, the more beautiful she seemed to get. The more damaged and ugly her inside layers got, the more enchanted you felt by her.

Although, _nothing_ about Regina Mills was ugly in your eyes. You didn't particularly care about who she had killed or hurt in the past. That wasn't the woman you knew now. Sure, it was a _part_ of her. But it didn't _define_ her.

It was one, slightly large, quite bloody, chapter in the book that was her life. It wasn't the main chapter, or the most important chapter. Those, you suspected, were still to come.

Regina Mills was a book, one that was battered and bruised, but one that you loved and cherished so dearly you always went back to it. One you wanted to know from cover to cover, exploring and savouring every single precious word.

Each chapter was like a beautiful work of art; one that you could not help but admire.  
The outer shell may be extremely beautiful, that was something nobody in their right mind could deny, but the complex story inside was where the real beauty lay.

Once you had finished one chapter, you could not wait to discover the next. To get lost in the words.

But it was unfinished and still had a long way to go. Suddenly, you find yourself a part of the world's most beautiful novel. You are helping to write the next chapter.

Something which you are more than happy to oblige to. Its then that you find your bruised, complex stories merging into one. You become one book. One story. One heart.

She becomes the heart, the life and soul of your story, and you hers. And before you know it, you're in deeper than you could have ever imagined.

She's opened her whole soul to you. She's given you her heart, both figuratively and metaphorically. She's given you meaning. Given you life.

She's in the same boat you are. She's in it just as deep as you. She peeled back your layers and knocked down your walls too. She loved you when she saw the darkness and the pain inside you. When she saw your ugly layers, she didn't run. She stayed and wanted to peel back some more. And she did, until she had peeled you bare and had your heart in her hands.

But for some reason, as she had stripped you emotionally, when you had allowed her to know you; to really know you; you felt safe. You felt home.

You wanted to show her that she could feel that way with you too, although, you suspected she already did. She hadn't burnt you to a crisp yet.

The act of falling in love with Regina Mills had almost been as beautiful as the woman herself. It had been a slightly terrifying prospect, but it was something that you welcomed with open arms. You had fallen before you even knew it; and once you did know it, you let yourself fall further.

She was intoxicating. You knew it was a cliché, but you were drunk on Regina Mills. Every single cell in your body yearned for her. You had no idea how to even breathe without it being for her anymore. She had a hold on you, and you hoped, prayed, wished that she would never let go.

You knew for a fact that you had fallen and there was no way you could get up, even if you wanted to. And so, you decided, to give in to the hold she had on you forever, knowing that you would continue to fall even harder every single day for the rest of your life. But that was okay, because as long as Regina was there to catch you, you knew you wouldn't get hurt. And so you fell. You let yourself fall. But she fell too. You fell _together_. In the most beautiful free fall a person could possibly fall, landing in the deep oblivion that was true love.


End file.
